Song, Chant, Poetry, Stories and Satire for the Pagan Community

This entry made: 11/04/1997

Title: O, Save Us From Faux Pagans
Lyrics by: Zo Alexander
Tune: God Rest Ye Merry, Gentlemen (Traditional Christmas)
Date: 119996
Source: http://www.mudcat.org/cgi-bin/as_web.exe?April97+D+6989470
Recorded on:
Subject: Humor

O, save us from faux pa - a - gans,
And all the motley crew --
That hang about at festivals
Concerts and bus stops too --
They dress up all in furs and chains,
With tattoos showing through --
And knives, whips and axes hanging down,
Dragging the ground --
And knives, whips and axes hanging down.

O, save us from faux pa - a - gans,
And all their groupies, who
Hang out with trolls and dra - a - gons,
And all the faery zoo --
Except the guys in le - a - ther,
With bare cheeks showing through --
And cod-pieces larger than their heads,
Larger than heads --
And cod-pieces larger than heads.

O, save us from faux pa - a- gans,
Their chain mail shiny new --
Stretched over hips and bo - o - soms,
With nipples showing through --
And loincloths cut way up to here --
O'er dimples, and veins blue --
And full moons where none have shone before.
Never before --
And full moons where none have shown before!

O, save us from faux pa - a - gans
Who paint their faces blue,
And speak in Scottish dialect
Like Braveheart never knew --
Except the guys who wear beneath
Their wee kilts -- here's to you --
Nothing but what auld nature did adorn,
When they were born --
Nothing bu - u - t what auld nature did adorn!

O, save us from faux pa -a- gans,
Their bodies pierced through --
With rings and studs and di - a - monds
Through nose and eyebrows, too --
And bumpy things stuck through their tongues,
(And other places -- ew-w-w!)
The likes of which you don't want to know,
Trust me -- I know!
There's some things you just don't want to know!

O, save us from faux pa - a - gans,
With athames brand new --
And crystal balls and tarot cards
Hung out where all can view,
And shouting incanta - a - tions
Known only to a few --
And daggers and pentagrams all round,
Daggers abound --
And daggers and pentagrams all round.

O, save us from faux pa - a - gans
Except for me and you --
For ours is all in finest taste,
In all we wear and do --
And never would we be mistaken
For that other crew --
Well, now, maybe I'm not so sure about you --
Just look at you -- !
No, I'm really not that sure about you.

O, all you re - al pa - a - gans
(I'm talking to you --)
Take care when you go walk-about
What - e - e - ver you do --
For when the interstellar taste police
Go sweeping through --
They're taking them to the cosmic zoo,
(Dra - a - gons too --)
Gonna lock them all up in the cosmic zoo.