Manic-Depressive (Bipolar) Hope

But first, a quote from An Unquiet Mind, by Kay Redfield Jamison, an inspiring woman (a manic-depressive psychiatrist that has done some amazing work on the link between creative genius and madness) and the first prescription the Good Head Shrink wrote for me when I was discharged from the hospital after the Big One of '00

Kay Redfield Jamison, On Having Manic Depression

"I have often asked myself whether, given the choice, I would choose to have manic-depressive illness. If lithium were not available to me, or didn't work for me, the answer would be a simple no... and it would be an answer laced with terror. But lithium does work for me, and therefore I can afford to pose the question. Strangely enough, I think I would choose to have it. It's complicated... I honestly believe that as a result of it I have felt more things, more deeply; had more experiences, more intensely; loved more, and have been more loved; laughed more often for having cried more often; appreciated more the springs, for all the winters... Depressed, I have crawled on my hands and knees in order to get across a room and have done it for month after month. But normal or manic I have run faster, thought faster, and loved faster than most I know."

-- Kay Redfield Jamison

Primary orientation: Manic!
Secondary orientation: Depressive. *sigh*
Mental Health History:

Update 1/28/04 - Goldberg score of 77 (severely manic). Ah hell, this sucks. :-(

Some basic stuff on Manic-Depression (Bipolar Disorder Type I), for those not already bored to tears by my incessant self-absorbed babbling on the topic.

OK, I know I've been blathering on about this for quite a while here, but I thought I'd put together some more concrete info, mainly links. Partially for your benefit, if you're curious about this thing that is a facet of my life and personality, or if you're one of the kind cadre of folks who act as my 'mood mirrors'** on occasion, and also partially for my benefit, so I can keep them all together.

[1] Over the last two years, I've deputized several friends and family members to be my 'mood mirrors,' as I call it - these are folks who are familiar with the signs & symptoms of mania (as well as depression) and whom I've explicitly asked to tell me straight up, even if it sounds harsh, if I appear to be edging too far in either direction. Sometimes I don't like hearing it, but it's really something that I need - especially since this disease is particularily pernicious in that it often erodes judgement and my normally acute self-awareness.

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